♪ Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda! ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-bom doo boom-boom! ♪
♪ Raised in a noodle shop ♪
♪ never seeking glory or fame ♪
♪ he climbed the mountain top ♪
♪ and earned the Dragon Warrior name. ♪
♪ Hu! Ah! Ya! ♪
♪ Kung Fu Panda! ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo- sho-bom, doom-doom-doom! ♪
♪ Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ♪
♪ and master the skills of bodacious and awesome ♪
♪ Kung Fu Panda. ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo doom-doom-doom-doom! ♪
♪ He lives, he trains ♪
♪ and he fights with the Furious Five ♪
♪ protect the Valley somethin' somethin' ♪
♪ somethin' somethin' alive ♪
♪ Oh! Ah! Uh! ♪
♪ Kung Fu Panda ♪
♪ Legends of awesomeness. ♪
Sweet!
3x08 - Serpent's Tooth
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~
Aqueduct, ha! No good will come of it, I say.
What?
This thing's gonna supply water to the entire valley.
Just think of it. No more walking to the well.
Yeah, but why do they have to run it through these Mu Tong fields?
This stuff is toxic.
Only if you ingest it. Just relax.
Why are you so jumpy?
- Seriously? You've heard the rumors. - What, about some killer snake?
Please. You can't believe everything you hear.
I wouldn't be too sure of that.
Bow down, "cur-sed" two-leggers.
Bow down before lord Fu-Xi.
Too... too scared... to bow.
Such a pity for you.
Hurry up, slowpokes!
We're late for the aqueduct festival!
Another festival? Don't these villagers ever work?
Lighten up, Tigress. It's just an excuse to have a good time.
Sure, if you're some lazy no-account slacker.
Aqueduct!
Whoa!
Sorry, guys. I got swept away with aqueduct fever.
Do you even know what an aqueduct is?
- Could you repeat the, uh, question? - Let's just go to the festival.
I may need a shower first.
Hey, every... body.
- Why is everyone staring at us? - I think they're staring at Viper.
- Are you okay? - I'm so sorry.
With the stories we've been hearing,
I guess we're all a little wary of snakes.
What? What stories?
There's an evil monster lurking in the forest!
A scary snake. Just like you!
Hang on a second. This is crazy.
Viper's a great warrior. A master of the Jade Palace.
And one of my best friends.
- Po, it's okay. - No, no, no, it's not okay.
Don't be scared, little buddy.
I felt the same way about Viper until I got to know her.
Yeah! What?
But now I love everything about her!
The scales, fangs, her sinister forked tongue.
That creepy slithering thing she does.
- I think I'm winning him over. - Hmm.
This is Master Viper we're talking about.
- You're all acting like fools. - Yeah, that's how you win 'em over.
Come on, folks! There's no proof that
any snake has done anything to anyone.
Snake!
He's after me! Run for your lives!
No! No! He's everywhere!
Calm down! Calm down! What's wrong?
It's okay. You're safe now.
Fu-Xi. Fu-Xi!
Fu-Xi?
So the evil snake's name is Fu-Xi?
Sounds like he's some sneaky, slimy, belly-crawling snake.
I think we've covered that, Po.
Whoever Fu-Xi is, he must be considered a grave menace.
No! Lord Fu-Xi is not a menace!
- What? - Hold on, I'll field this one.
- What? - You...
you don't understand.
Lord Fu-Xi is a descendent of the dragon gods.
He's strong, fast as lightning.
At first, he bravely fought to defend China.
His venom fills his victims with a mind-numbing fear.
His terrified enemy would simply flee, and he harmed no one.
But there were those that feared his power.
Fu-Xi and his family were persecuted.
Enraged, he turned renegade,
swearing vengeance against his two-legged oppressors.
But even now,
every snake in China still regards him as a hero.
But you saw what he did to that worker.
- You can't possibly think he's a hero. - I'm a snake, aren't I?
Yeah, but you're not like other snakes. You're, you know, nice.
- And other snakes aren't? - Yes. No. Trick question!
Attitudes like that are the reason Fu-Xi turned renegade.
Viper, enough.
We've got to work together if we're gonna take Fu-Xi down.
I'm sorry, master. I... I don't think I can do that.
- What? - You can't be serious.
Viper, you know this enemy. We need you.
I won't fight against my own kind. I won't!
Master Viper. I'd like to speak to you privately.
Yes, sir.
- Why'd Viper get so mad at me? - Uh, let's see.
One, she's upset all the villagers turned against her.
And, two, you were extremely uncool, man.
- Whoa! Waa! - Yeah, Po.
If you have a problem with snakes,
then you have a problem with Viper.
That's not true! I love Viper!
She's kind, and generous, and good.
But it is kind of gross when she unhinges her jaws at lunch.
You're right. I'm a closet snake-a-phobe.
Gah! I disgust me.
Everyone, Viper has something she'd like to say.
I may be a snake, but my first duty is to the Jade palace.
I'll do what I can to stop Fu-Xi.
Viper, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
It's okay, Po. Forget it.
Because of her expertise,
I'm sending Viper to investigate the scene of the attack.
- Po, you are going with her. - Right.
Don't worry, Master Shifu. We'll catch that snaky, scaly...
I mean serpent-y, slithering, uh, forky-tongue...
Just go.
Excuse me, fellas.
Have you seen a very large, very lethal snake in this area?
Snake!
Thanks for your cooperation.
They think I'm a bad guy just because I'm a snake.
That's 'cause they don't know the real you.
They can't see past the skin shedding and the leg-less-ness.
- Which I love. - Maybe we should split up.
Wouldn't it be safer to stay together?
- Not for you. - Viper, I...
Don't even know why I'm helping these petty jerks.
That's as far as you go, snake!
- Wait, I'm on your side. - You don't fool us.
Don't come any closer! I don't want to hurt you.
Miserable two-leggers.
No one harms a serpent while I live.
Lord Fu-Xi!
You... you saved me.
Did I?
Lord Fu-Xi, wait!
You saved me. Twice.
Thank you.
I'd do the same for any serpent, little sister.
Even the great Master Viper of the Jade palace.
- You... you know me? - We all know you. You're a serpent.
Yet you fight for the two-leggers.
- Why? - They're my friends.
We... we protect the valley.
I protect the valley as well, from your so-called friends.
Well, Viper, are you here to defeat me,
do the two-leggers bidding, and lock me up?
I-I was. But I can't.
You are a great hero. The others just don't understand.
Large, scary snake? Coils of death?
Kinda fangy? Anyone? No?
Sir, please, I'm conducting a criminal investigation.
- S-s-snake! Back there! - Huh?
Oh, that's just my pal Viper. She's totally cool.
But do not eat lunch with her.
But there's two of them!
Two? Viper!
I'm flattered you think so highly of me,
little sister. But I warn you,
I'm about to strike a great blow for serpents everywhere.
You and your Jade palace friends had better stay out of my way.
Lord Fu-Xi, wait. Maybe I can...
- Maybe I can help you. - Really?
- Viper! Hah! - Wait!
For what? He's evil.
Aah! Not that all snakes are evil.
I'm sure he has many good qualities.
Perish, fool!
Feel free to help anytime.
- Po, stop! - Don't worry about me, Viper.
This guy's tough, but not tough enough
to fight the paralyzing shoulder pinch!
Course, might be tough,
what with the lack of shoulders and... gah!
Sorry, pal, you brought this on yourself.
No!
Come on!
Viper?
You saved me back there. Thank you, little sister.
You're... You're welcome, lord Fu-Xi.
Your former friends won't be happy about your betrayal, you know.
I did what I felt was right.
And I'm not sure they ever were my friends.
I spent my entire life trying to fit in, but I was always...
different.
Yes, and you should be proud of that difference.
You're a snake. Now, act like one!
- I'm not sure I know how anymore. - For starters, stop being so...
- nice. - Snakes can be nice.
No, they can't!
Snakes must inspire fear.
That's how we survive. Go ahead, try and frighten me.
Oh, that's, uh, that's pretty bad.
But... you have potential.
If you're willing to do what it takes.
Viper!
Where are you?
That creepy cobra must have brainwashed her.
And my stupid comments probably didn't help.
Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!
Huh?
- So, are you ready to help me? - I am.
Ready to restore justice, peace, and freedom
throughout the land for snakes everywhere?
Yes! How do we do it?
By driving every two-legger in the valley mad.
- I... huh? - My bite instills terror.
But it wears off eventually.
But if I mix that venom with Mu Tong root,
then the effect becomes permanent.
Madness will reign throughout the two-leggers.
In the chaos...
we shall seize the power
that is rightfully ours.
But... but how could you have enough venom for that?
I have more than enough hidden away in a secret location,
and you're gonna help me deliver it into the valley's water supply.
But...
You'd prefer to go back to the two-leggers,
with their hate and fear and jokes at your expense?
Viper? Where are you?
It's time to decide, little sister.
Are you a snake... or aren't you?
Viper! Oh, what a relief.
I'm so sorry about the dumb things I said.
- Po. - Look, you're nothing
like that scaly loser. You're one of us.
Now let's catch that creepy cobra and lock him up for good.
Viper?
Viper! You... bit me.
Welcome back to the family...
little sister.
That was cold! Ruthless!
I love it!
Nothing clever to say now, Po?
No stupid snake joke?
Oh, you are bad.
I knew you had it in you, little sister.
You lose, panda. We win.
Very exciting, folks.
We're minutes away from opening the sluice gate.
Water for everyone!
No sign of Fu-Xi.
Perhaps Po and Viper have already caught up to him.
What if they didn't?
You're not a "tea cup's half full" kind of guy, are you?
Oh, they're so proud of this thing they've built.
But one drink from their new water supply
and the entire valley will belong to the serpents!
Poison the water supply? And you're gonna let him?
What's the matter with you? I don't believe this!
Here it is... my fear toxin.
Now to add the Mu Tong root.
No!
We don't have time for this!
- Finish him! - Huh?
- I warned you, Po. - Viper, this isn't you!
You've had this coming for a long time now.
- Huh? - What are you doing?
Sorry, Fu-Xi. Your reign of terror ends now.
Viper! Ha! I knew it!
You're not all evil and nasty.
Shifu sent me to uncover Fu-Xi's plan.
I had to find the hidden venom before I could make my move.
But you bit him. I saw you.
Paralyzing shoulder pinch. I'd never bite one of my best friends.
- Traitor! - Po!
I trusted you, and you betrayed me!
Oh, darn.
Don't let the venom spill in the water!
Hey!
Po!
The venom!
Po!
Cups ready, folks.
When the water comes through,
let's take a big drink to celebrate.
No! Can't let the water reach the village!
You're mine.
Come on! Come on!
Let the water flow!
Fu-Xi must have wrecked the aqueduct.
I'm not so sure about that.
What happened?
My head went all loopy.
Viper!
Viper? Viper!
Viper, speak to me. Please.
I-I'm sorry I had to trick you, Po.
- It was the only way. - But you saved everyone.
Don't know about Fu-Xi, though.
I would have shared my kingdom with you.
Hurting others doesn't fix the hurt that's been done to you.
Forget your hate. Be the hero you once were.
How could you choose the two-leggers over me?
Especially that... panda. He hates all snakes.
Not really. Just you.
Viper!
Huh?
- Nice work, Master Viper. - Thank you.
You know, you didn't have to keep me in the dark.
It's not like I would have said the wrong thing
and blown it and... yeah, I guess I see your point.
Look! It's Viper!
She saved everyone from that terrible cobra!
- I love you, Viper. - Oh, I love you too.
I'm sorry I was such a jerk, Viper. But I hope now you realize
just how much everyone cares for you.
I do. I just feel badly for Fu-Xi.
He was a great and noble soul once.
Yeah, well, you know what they say about snakes.
Uh... they're fantastic.
Am I right? Give it up.
I had that coming.
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~